dys·to·pi·a (dĭs-tō’pē-ə) n. An imaginary place or state in which the condition of life is extremely bad, as from deprivation, oppression, or terror.
My favorite genre of novels is filled with horror, death, ugliness, sadness, pitiful living conditions, and violence. In college for my senior paper, I picked The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. With this choice in books, I was sucked into all that is dystopia and I’ve never looked back. From films to literature, a horrific future awaits us, which got me thinking. How are we to survive if the world is falling down around us?
1. Health
I hate to break it to the people out there who may have some kind of health condition, but if you are not one hundred percent healthy (I’m talking allergies, asthma, unable to use your two feet etc), your chances of survival aren’t pretty. You see, the conditions in the post-apocalyptic world are awful and if you are out there trying to survive, you can’t be hacking up a lung because your asthma is getting to you. Either that asthma is going to take you out or someone else is.
2. Guns
In the future, people are really violent. Everyone is trying to survive. Food is scarce, people are scared that they can’t have babies, or the government is trying to convict you of a crime that you might commit one day. It’s a scary place and you are going to need to protect yourself. Nothing says protection like a hard, steal piece of machinery that can take out a person or two.
3. Friends
You are going to need some friends. Humans are not like the mighty shark. The shark swims around in the ocean without a consistent mate or any friends and he may be just fine, but you will not. Humans need other people but don’t get too cocky and get a whole group of friends, because if you have too many folks by your side then you become one of the crowd. And we all know what happens to the folks who are part of the crowd…they die.
4. Names
You either need to have a name or be the main character in the novel where the reader is so invested in you that they don’t care if you have a name. Because folks without names don’t make it. You become a blob of flesh walking around the Earth with either your name changed or nameless. Either way, you don’t have an identity and folks without an identity don’t make it. Literature 101, people.
5. Fertility
If you can’t bear a child, I’d recommend that you find someone who can. In dystopia, fertility always seems to be a bit of an issue. Usually that issue involves the inability to have children or people are eating the children. Either way, I’d recommend having a child, not eating them, and then doing your best to make sure that child survives. Nothing says survival and life like an itty-bitty baby in your arms.
There you have it, the top five ways to survive in dystopia. This list was humbly inspired by Columbus from Zombieland who created his own list for survival with zombies. Whether you are fighting zombies, oppressed by a religious dictatorship, or trying to find something to eat in a world that is dying, I’d recommend that you stick to these five rules of thumb. You just might make it in a dystopia.
Inspired Books and Movies:
- The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
- The Road by Cormac McCarthy
- Anthem by Ayn Rand
- The Children of Men by P.B. James
- Zombieland
- Minority Report
8 Comments
This is too funny!
6. Not be human. Did you see the movie “9″?
I was going to write a grand report on the negative utopia when I was in high school. Or was it college? Anyway, I’d read “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley in middle school, “Anthem” by Ayn Rand in some class sometime, and I watched George Lucas’ “THX 1138″ but then I stopped. Other books on my list were “1984″ by Orwell, “Utopia” by Sir Thomas More, and “We” by Yevgeny Zamiatin. Even if I’d finished my reading list and written my epic paper, I don’t think it would have been as much fun as your posting here.
Hi Stephanie – No, I haven’t seen the movie 9. I’ve been wanting too, it looks really good, I heard it wasn’t for kids though and my little one has put a severe damper on watching adult movies. Chances are I’ll rent it.
Love your answer. Humans are always biting the dust!
Thank you so much, Auriette, for the lovely compliment!
The only one of your list that I’ve read is Anthem. I’ve been wanting to read 1984 and Brave New World, but for some reason when it comes time to pick a book, it’s never those two.
Maybe one of these days, you’ll write that paper and you’ll knock my socks off
Very funny! When we were in college, we had a long discussion about how we might survive a zombie apocalypse. The guy who came up with the plan figured I would survive, but I’m not really sure why. Your first point, health, is a good one — sick people can’t get away from zombies.
Hi Kim – Have you seen Zombieland? Not sure if it is your type of movie, but I kind of got the health answer from Columbus who states that the first people to become zombies where the “fatties” because they couldn’t run fast. That’s not a very nice answer, but in terms of reality, I thought it had merit.
I also thought about The Road where people travel a lot and the air is thick with ash. I thought if you are not a robust person, you are just not going to make it.
At the end of the day, it’s interesting to hypothesize how we’d survive those zombies. Just think, we’ll be ready when they come!
I haven’t seen Zombieland, actually. I thought about it, but it looks a little gory for me. I suspect Boyfriend will want to see it though, so I might get dragged along anyway.
Despite thinking about impending zombie attacks, I full expect to be unprepared when they come
7. Super mad skillz. If you can’t rebuild an engine with a toothpick and some gum, navigate hundreds of miles of woods in the dark, and make a healthy meal from bugs and cactus, then you might as well give up now. Because somebody else can, and your no-skillz-havin’ ass is just a liability to them.
And I heartily recommend Oryx and Crake by Margret Atwood (2003) and The Gone Away World by Nick Harkaway.
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[...] Top Five Ways to Survive in Dystopia | Yule Time Reading “In dystopia, fertility always seems to be a bit of an issue. Usually that issue involves the inability to have children or people are eating the children. Either way, I’d recommend having a child, not eating them, and then doing your best to make sure that child survives.” [...]